HONORING A PARENT WHO HAS PASSED AWAY

Many brides and grooms want to include some type of remembrance during their wedding ceremony of a parent (or parents) that have passed away. It can be done tactfully and without making it too sad at the same time; here are some options:


A Lighting of candles can be done at the very beginning of the ceremony or during the lighting of the unity candle.





Presentation of single stemmed flowers for each parent at the altar.

A special reading which mentions their name) could also be done.

Before you decide, speak with your clergy and see what he or she thinks would be best. They know you better and are in a better position to make suggestions.


One final and important point: Don't get too sentimental during this time. This is your wedding day and you know your parents would want you to enjoy this celebration without becoming so choked up that you couldn't go on with the ceremony.

10 Most Asked Questions by Brides

1. How can I let people know where I am registered?
Word of mouth is really only the "proper" way to inform people where you are registered. You really must wait until they ask you or other family members. All friends and family members should be told where you are registered so they can inform others when asked.

Today, many brides are including cards from the department store where they are registered in their shower invitation. However, this is still never done in the wedding invitation.

2. How can I ask for money instead of a gift?
Actually, there is no way of wording the asking of money for wedding gifts in lieu of something else without being tacky. I'm afraid this is a cardinal rule of etiquette that must be taken seriously. The only thing you can do is tell your friends and relatives your preference. Then, when others ask, your family and friends can say that you would prefer money. Then, guests can do whatever they like. If they take the hint, great, but if they don't, accept the gift with a gracious thank you!

3. How can I let people know that I don't want children at the wedding?
The only thing you can do is not include the children's names on the invitations. However, you'll find that some people will still bring their children.

So you might want to be prepared with a "kids table" that includes crayons, coloring books, and candy. Some even hire a babysitter to look after the children at the "kids table". Some brides are now having "adult only" printed on their invitations but again, even at that, some people ignore the printing and assume their children are invited.

4. Who pays for what?
A growing trend today is for wedding expenses to be shared among the bride and groom, as well as each of their families, but, here is the traditional list of "Who Pays for What" (Contact Lady D's to provide you with a traditional "Who Pays For What List".

5. How many invited guests should I expect will actually attend my wedding?
The general rule of thumb is if you're having over 200 guests, then you can estimate that about 25-28% of your guests will be unable to attend. If you are having less 200 guests, then the percentage usually decreases to about 15-20% or less. Other factors include how many guests you invite that live out-of-town and the travel distance required to attend the wedding.

Remember, every family and guest list is different, so always be prepared in case everyone is able to come!

6. What are the Maid of Honor's responsibilities?
The main role of the Maid of Honor is to help the bride with the wedding planning. This can include shopping for dresses, addressing invitations, putting together favors and just being there when the bride needs some extra help, support or someone to talk to.

7. What is appropriate to wear for a second wedding?
No matter whether it is your first, second or third wedding… the focal point is still the wedding dress. Many second-time brides choose a simpler, more elegant or sophisticated wedding dress. Many choose a floor length or cocktail length dress in white, off-white or a pretty pastel.

Many "etiquette experts" advise second-time brides to not wear a veil or a long train for their second wedding. Don't listen to them! This is your day, wear what you want to wear! Maybe you had a very small first wedding and now you want to go all out! Wear what makes you feel beautiful! Learn more about second-time weddings.

8. How Do I Personalize my Wedding?
There are plenty of tips and ideas to make your wedding unique and personal. But, which ideas are right for you?

Only you can decide. Think about what is important to you and your fiancé. Think about special interests or hobbies that you share together. Or, maybe there is a special place, the beach or some quaint little Inn you went to when he proposed. Incorporate these elements and these "feelings" into your wedding and it will be truly unique and personal.

9. Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
Your caterer or reception site serving the food will include their gratuities with your bill. So, a tip is not necessarily expected.

As for your other vendors (wedding consultant, band or DJ, limo driver, photographer), again a tip is not required. However, if you feel a vendor went above and beyond the call of duty, then feel free to provide them with an extra tip. If you are concerned whether or not a vendor is expecting a tip, then discuss it with them.

10. What fee should I pay my clergy?
This can be a tough one, most clergy do not have a fee but instead ask for a donation. In this case, anywhere from $50 - $100 or more. A lot depends on how well you know them and whether or not counseling sessions were involved.

If you are still unsure what the appropriate amount should be, then talk to the church secretary and ask for an "acceptable range" for a donation.

LADY D'S SUGGESTED WAYS TO PANIC PROOF YOUR WEDDING

Avoid asking friends or family to provide food, flowers, or official photography. It will create an awkward situation if you're not pleased with the results. It's easier to expect perfection from someone being paid.

Avoid heavy cake tops or too many tiers. These can make the cake unstable.

Protect your bridal gown. Never iron it or attempt any kind of touch up. If it is badly wrinkled, contact the bridal shop for pressing. Do not eat, drink, or smoke after putting the gown on. Do not apply makeup and keep away from pets.

When you get your gown, practice putting it on, walking, turning, and moving like you will during the ceremony. Get a feel for how the dress moves and how much extra time you’ll need to handle the train.



Avoid having children under age three in the wedding party. If you do, let one of the attendants walk with the child or pair them with an older child.

Have a toy under the petals of the basket for the child to open once they have completed their walk.

Have a person from the parish ready to whisk the kids off to a Sunday school run ready with snacks and juice to keep the kids till the ceremony is over. Don't expect the kids to sit quietly for up to an hour just to have exiting pictures. Bring them back up for pictures later. The wedding is not about the perfect pictures you will have later; it is about the vows.

Or have an attendant or a groomsmen assigned the task of keeping an eye on the kids during the service. Should the child become unruly, their parent should be alerted to come and remove the child from this focal point of the ceremony.

Picture perfect? To get a child to get through the rehearsal dinner, sleep a good nights rest, alter their morning routine, put on scratchy strange clothes and hard new shoes, sit for their hairstyle, keep a "thing" on top of their head, get through per-ceremony pictures, hold a basket and not loose it, drop petals, walk slow, walk straight, and then two hours later be expect to be clean, still and quiet for more pictures? This is not possible for many adults!

A calm easygoing bride is the best medicine for the child and also helps to relax the mother as well. Keeping your expectations low and having a go with the flow attitude is the best strategy for the bride to be.
"Children need praise. Praise them for their performance and thank them for their cooperation. They will react accordingly. All they want is a little love!"

10 THINGS NOT TO DO BEFORE YOUR WEDDING






Don't start your wedding planning without a budget. One of the most stressful elements to wedding planning usually is money. Make sure you decide up front how much your total wedding budget is going to be and who will be contributing and how much.

Don't spend more than your budget or what you can afford. Your wedding day is an important day, but it is only one day. You don't want to start your new life together by going into "serious" debt from your wedding expenses and being strapped with that debt for the next five years.

Don't rely upon oral agreements with vendors. Get everything in writing!

Don't try and do everything yourself. Planning a wedding can be a full time job in itself. So, don't try and take on such an enormous project alone, delegate as much as you can! When it comes to weddings, everyone loves to help, so let them!
Don't insist on having it your way all the time! Come to an agreement on the things that are less important.

Don't skimp on your photography. Your wedding day goes by so fast, and after it's over, all you'll have left is your memories and your pictures.

Don't get crazy over every detail. It can really take the pleasure out of the wedding planning process. I mean, will it really matter that the ribbons for the favors are baby blue instead of ice blue?

Don't forget to thank everyone involved in your wedding and those that gave you gifts. Also, don't let those thank you notes pile up. Send them out promptly after you receive a gift.

Don't overload yourself the day before your wedding. This is not the time to put together 200 favors. Try to do only one or two small tasks and leave the rest of the day to relax and pamper yourself.

Don't expect perfection for your wedding day. Expect a "terrific" day and set reasonable expectations. Never forget, the main goal is to get married.

From "I Will" to "I Do": The Budget

From "I Will" to "I Do": The Budget

Choosing A Wedding Dress

Buying a wedding dress can be one of the best and one of the worst parts of planning a wedding. On average, a bride will try on nearly 20 gowns before finding the perfect wedding dress, and of course she’ll look at many, many more.

Try on a variety of dresses. A completely different style just might surprise you!

Clip pictures from bridal magazines and shop online first. Find dresses that have features that you like and begin to form an image in your mind of what you might like: for example, if you narrow down the neckline, length and amount of beading before you set out to the stores, and you’ll be able to limit your selection to dresses that meet your needs.

If you're shopping at a bridal store, bring along a friend whose opinion you trust. Include your mother if appropriate.

Bring the same size heel you expect to wear at the wedding.

• Don't skip looking checking out "on-the-rack" stores, outlet stores or trunk shows. You could find the dress of your dreams and save a boatload of money.
• Take home a fabric swatch to match with your shoes, veil and accessories. Carry it with you in a baggy in your purse so you’ve always got it on hand. You never know when it might come in handy. Made to Order there are a variety of reasons why a bride would choose to have a dress custom made: she knows what she wants and apparently no one else does, she wants to design it herself or have someone she knows design it, she wants more control over the final outcome of the dress, she wants more flexibility in the construction of it, she appreciates the ability to customize any portion of it, etc. The reasons are endless, and they’re good!
• If you plan to have your dress made for you, be sure to allow at least six months for the process. Get in touch with the seamstress or designer as soon as possible to avoid last minute time crunches and panic.
• If you’re looking for a seamstress or designer, your best source of references is friends and family. Also, be sure to work out a payment policy and schedule up front and get it in writing to ensure that there is no confusion.
• Body Type Finding a dress that you love AND that flatters your body type is a battle and a half. But it’s one worth pursuing, because a dress that looks great on your will make you feel like a million dollars.This guide will help you determine your body shape, and what features can best flatter what you’ve got.Triangle - hips are wider than bust and shoulders. The goal: minimize lower body and create the illusion of additional upper body width.
• Create height with an elongated waistline.
  Wear full sleeves to create the appearance of wider shoulders.
  Full skirts hide heavy hips and legs.
  Draw the eye upward by selecting a decorative bodice or details at the neckline.
• Avoid bulky or straight skirts. Reverse Triangle - upper body is wider than the lower body. The goal: emphasize lower body width.
  A simple bodice will minimize the upper body width, so will unadorned sleeves.
  Avoid high necklines and narrow skirts.
  Choose a detailed skirt to draw the eye downward.
  Create additional height with an elongated waistline, for example, a dropwaist. Hourglass - larger bust and hips, small waist. The goal: balance.
  Avoid high waistlines and necklines.
  Emphasize a small waist with a fitted waistline.
  Soft gathered skirts disguise hips and draw attention to the waistline; A-line dresses also work well.
  Use details or embellishments wisely: bodice detail such as beading or lace will bring the eye upward and emphasize the upper body.
• Consider an open neckline to flatter the shoulder line and bring the eye upwards. Rectangle - long and narrow without a strongly defined waistline. Emphasize width and avoid long vertical lines.
  Detailed sleeves will draw the eye outward.
  An open neckline or off the shoulder look will broaden the shoulder line.
• A full skirt with horizontal details, for example horizontal ribbon trim from the waistline to the hem.
• Avoid high or drop waists, instead go with a fitted waist. Below the NeckThe neckline you choose should flatter your face and body shape. If your shoulders are narrow and you want them to appear wider you will want a wide neckline that will broaden.
• If you have broad shoulders that you would like to appear narrower then you should select a neckline that is narrow.

Here are some guidelines on the best necklines to suit the shape of your face:

• Square - Scoop, round or V-necklines are best.
  Round - Scoop, angular or V-necklines. Avoid high necklines.
  Oval - Any type of neckline works well.
  Oblong - Round or square necklines. The objective is to widen the face.
  Heart - Any type of neckline works well.
  Diamond - Wide open necklines and rounded necklines. Avoid V-necks.
  Pear - V-neck. The goal is to lengthen and narrow the bottom portion of the face. Other Figure-Flattering TricksIf you want to:
  Appear taller - High neckline, empire waist, short-sleeved or sleeveless dress with gloves.
  Appear slender - High waistlines such as princess style or A-line; utilize vertical lines in fabric or trim details; scoop necks are also affective. Avoid ruffles, puffy sleeves and clingy fabrics.
  De-emphasize the bust line - Scoop necks, high necklines and v-necks. Avoid empire or cinched waists.
  De-emphasize height - Drop waist, wide belt, waistline adornments. Your height enables you to wear a hat or dramatic veil without being overpowered.
  Appear less slender - Heavier fabrics, bodice details, gathered, large sleeves.
• Plus Size ConsiderationsPlus size women look their very best on their wedding day when they find a style of gown that flatters and fits their body type. Look for a style that slims the body. Don't worry about ordering a particular size.
• Order by measurements so that the dress doesn't pull or bind anywhere. When a gown pulls and forms wrinkles, it's a sign the dress is too tight and it will make you look larger.Princess seaming will elongate the body and lace placement will pull the eye away from problem areas. If your bustline is an asset, by all means, play it up with a sweetheart or V-neckline.
• If you have beautiful shoulders, consider an off-the-shoulder gown.
• If you’ve got a small waistline but large hips, try on some ball gowns with a basque waistline.
• A Note About Undergarments Searching out wedding day lingerie isn’t just a luxury, it’s a necessity. It can make or break how your dress fits you. This day, perhaps more than any other, calls for a properly fitted bra or complete underwear set to reduce unsightly bulges and pinches.
• And the wedding day is not a good day to first wear this lingerie. As silly as it might feel, wear it around in advance, so you know before the big day whether it feels comfortable and isn’t poking you somewhere.
• Oh yeah, and make sure it’s pretty. After the wedding, there’s always the “wedding night!”
  

Photography: Important Questions and Considerations

Your wedding photography is perhaps one of the most important and expensive aspects of your wedding day. Long after your wedding is over, your photographs will provide a way to remember your special day. Selecting the right photographer is an extremely important decision and one that you will want to spend a great deal of time investigating. The following list of questions to ask yourself and potential photographers will get you on the right track and will help you narrow down the many choices.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

Examine the quality of the photographer's work. Are the pictures framed and well centered?

Is the lighting effective? Are details visible?

Does the photographer's work capture the moment?

Do the pictures express the romance and emotion of the day?

Do people look comfortable and relaxed?

Do the pictures tell a story?

Are the pictures posed, candid, or a combination of both?

Do you feel comfortable with the photographer? You will spend a great deal of time with this person on your wedding day and if you are not comfortable working with him/her it will show in your photographs.

Questions to Ask a Photographer:

What is his primary style of photography? Traditional posed photography, candid or photojournalistic photography, or a combination of both.

Does he take photos in color, black-and-white, or both?

What types or cameras does he use? Does he bring back-up equipment to the wedding in case of an emergency?

What percentage of his business is in wedding photography? You want to hire someone that has plenty of experience in capturing all of the important aspects of a wedding.

Will the person you are meeting with actually be the one taking your photographs or will it be someone else in the studio?

When viewing displays, ask whose work you're viewing and if this is who will actually be taking your wedding photographs. If not, ask to see sample work from the person who will be taking your photographs.

Does he prefer for you to describe exactly what you would like or does he prefer to have free rein to capture your big day?

Is he free on your wedding date?

What kinds of packages does he offer? Can you get a price list?

Does the contract price include a charge for the proofs?

How many proofs will you receive and when will they be ready?

Is there a time limit on how long the photographer is available included in the contract?

Is there an overtime charge? How much is it?

When and how do you receive your order once it has been placed?

How long does he keep negatives? What is the price to reorder later?

What is the deposit price and when is it due?

Wedding Stress - How To Deal

With all that is going on, it's no wonder you're asking yourself the age-old question-- "why didn't we elope?" Don't do anything rash, these feelings are completely normal, and trust me, you're not alone. The easiest way to keep from getting bogged down is to take a moment and admire your surroundings. No, I'm not crazy, but I've been there and know that the best medicine is sequestering yourself and remembering why you agreed to marry this person. Here are a few tips to making it over the hump into a blissful marriage.

If you can, start small. When wedding planning gets hectic take a few moments to focus on something non-wedding related. Call your cousin and ask how the kids are, or meet your best friend for the dish on her dating dilemmas. Simply removing yourself from the tumult for even just five minutes can rejuvenate even the weariest brides-to-be. If this doesn't work, or there doesn't appear to be time for speed-therapy, declare the next day (or weekend) to doing the things you did before you were engaged. Catch a movie, set a lavish dinner date with the object of your affection, or just lounge around on the couch watching "Friends" reruns and eating popcorn alone or with a good friend. Whatever it takes, remind yourself of what you have to look forward to once the planning is kaput.

If you're still pulling your hair out, say sayonara to the spouse-to-be (for the night, that is), and call up your closest chicas (or chicos) to celebrate your sanity. Don't go crazy, but do the things you and your girls (or boys) love to do, like getting a mani-pedi or sipping sangria by the pool. Hopefully your maid of honor knows that her commitment until you say "I Do" is to lend an ear and offer helping hand when the time is right. During this time the most important thing for a bride to do is focus on the upcoming dramatic change, and recruit faithful attendants to which you can delegate, delegate, delegate.

So, if after all of the advice previously mentioned is heeded and you're still a wreck, call up your wedding planner and alert her of her new revised responsibilities. In the end, the entire hubbub is about ensuring that you have the most beautiful and glorious day possible will be resolved with the assurance that you are well taken care.

Selecting Your Perfect Wedding Cake

Wedding cakes may be ordered from a caterer or from a bakery. Some hotels and restaurants may also be able to provide a wedding cake. However, you will probably be better off ordering your cake from a bakery that specializes in wedding cakes. Ask to see photographs of other wedding cakes your baker has created, and by all means, ask for a tasting! Options:

When ordering your cake, you will have to decide not only on a flavor, but also on a size, shape and color. Size is determined by the number of guests. You can choose from one large tier to two, three, or more smaller tiers. The cake can be round, square or heart-shaped. The most common flavors are chocolate, carrot, lemon, rum, and "white" cakes. You can be creative by adding a filling to your cake, such as custard, strawberry, or chocolate. You may also want to consider having tiers of different flavors. Things To Consider: Price, workmanship, quality, and taste vary considerably from baker to baker. In addition to flavor, size, and cost, consider decoration and spoilage (sugar keeps longer than cream frostings).

The cake should be beautifully displayed on its own table decorated with flowers or greenery. Make sure the baker, caterer, or reception site manager can provide you with a pretty cake-cutting knife. If not, you will need to purchase or rent one. When determining the size of the cake, don't forget that you'll be saving the top tier for your first anniversary. This top tier should be removed before the cake is cut, wrapped in several layers of plastic wrap or put inside a plastic container, and kept frozen until your anniversary.

GROOM'S CAKE

The groom's cake is an old southern tradition whereby this cake is cut up and distributed to guests in little white boxes engraved with the bride and groom's names. Today the groom's cake, if offered, is cut and served along with the wedding cake. Options: Usually a chocolate cake decorated with fruit.

CAKE DELIVERY & SET-UP FEE

This is the fee charged by bakers to deliver and set up your wedding cake at the reception site. It usually includes a deposit on the cake pillars and plate which will be refunded upon their return to the baker.

CAKE-CUTTING FEE

Most reception sites and caterers charge a fee for each slice of cake they cut if the cake is brought in from an outside bakery. This fee will probably shock you. It is simply their way of enticing you to order the cake through them. And unfortunately, many sites and caterers will not allow a member of your party to cut the cake.

CAKE TOP

The bride's cake is often topped and surrounded with fresh flowers, but traditional cake tops are also very popular. Options: Bells, love birds, a bridal couple or replica of two wedding rings are popular choices for cake tops and can be saved as mementos of your wedding day. Beware: Some porcelain and other heavier cake tops need to be anchored down into the cake. If you're planning to use a cake top other than flowers, be sure to discuss this with your baker.

CAKE KNIFE / TOASTING GLASSES

Your cake knife and toasting glasses should compliment your overall setting; these items will bring you happy memories of your wedding day every time you use them. The cake knife is used to cut the cake at the reception. The bride usually cuts the first two slices of the wedding cake with the groom's hand placed over hers. The groom feeds the bride first, then the bride feeds the groom. This tradition makes beautiful wedding photographs. You will need toasting glasses to toast each other after you cut the cake. They are usually decorated with ribbons or flowers and kept near the cake. This tradition also makes beautiful wedding photographs.

Things To Consider: Consider having your initials and wedding date engraved on your wedding knife as a memento. Consider purchasing crystal or silver toasting glasses as a keepsake of your wedding. Have your florist decorate your knife and toasting glasses with flowers or ribbons.

http://www.ladydwedding.com

Lady D's Exquisite Weddings and Events is a wedding consulting company
that designs and coordinates weddings that truly represent couples personal
styles. We specialize in executing on a vision. You bring us the vision ( or we
can help you create the vision.) and we do the legwork to make it happen.

Your wedding doesn't need to be like everyone else's. There are no rules. Well,
O.K. we admit we have one wedding rule that we live bu. Make It Yours.

Perhaps you're traditional - steeped on family customs dating back many years.
Or you may be an innovator --creating your own traditions as you go. And who's
to say you can't be a combination of the two? There are no right or wrong answers
let your style and intuition be your guides. And let Lady D's Exquisite Weddings
and Events help you create a wedding that is UNIQUELY YOURS.



Debra D. Lilly, certified wedding consultant, launched Lady D's in 2005 because she wanted to help couples create weddings that
truly represented their personal styles. She realized that it can sometimes be difficult to convince people of your vision if it
doesn't fall into the categories of "normal" or "traditional". Debra wants to help people to transform their visions into reality
with an impact that will leave your guest impressed for life. We've done a good job if your single friends now want a wedding
like yours, and your married friends wish they could turn back time and have their wedding all over again.

Her contemporary style, creative mind and "leave no stone unturned" attitude make for a fabulous wedding consultant.
With Lady D's heavy focus on client service and satisfaction, makes it work. She has an affinity for making her clients feel
relaxed and reassured. Her desire is to create those most stunning, signature weddings that Southwest Georgia has yet
to experience.

If you have a vision, a dream, a theme and would like to see it transformed into reality....give us a call.

We offer your first initial consultation ..free.


Lady D's Exquisite Weddings and Events has establish additional web presence at http://www.myspace.com.ladydswexquisiteweddings.com
Visit us online and sign up to be a friend of Lady D's.
Email us: ladydsweddings@yahoo.com